After all, you can't play Electro-Magnetic Golf by the rules of Centrifugal Bumble Puppy

After another hard day's work, it's I who ought to be playing a lovely game of Electro-magnetic golf.

Instead, I'll write about it.

But John, towards the end of his career as a member of civilized society, has no time and no interest in such a game. So I guess I'll be writing about something else. Such as what the savage decides to do instead of civilized life. Any conditioned new worlder would not imagine such a choice. Being alone is terrifying in itself, but alone for days and weeks and months is nearly unbearable. So John is left to choose whatever uninhabited space he can find outside of bustling city life, and gets assigned to an abandoned lighthouse where he can see the burning city lights from the upper story windows. It is too nice a view for one intent on punishing himself. But finally, John the savage gets exactly what he wants. He sees no one for days on end. He is completely and totally alone, praying to gods like Pookong and Jesus and animal spirits of all sorts...

And still, he thinks of Lenina.

So the self punishment continues, as well as the solitude.
Until...
Three Delta-minus workers stumble across the savage in the midst of his self punishment ritual, whipping himself and crying out prayers to the gods.
And just like that, John's solitude and self purification comes to an end.

After the first few curious onlookers, reporters begin to hassle this unique man onto the camera. When John dispatches a reporter or two with a swift kick to the coccix or by shooting an arrow straight for a news helicopter, more fill in and multiply like rabbits. Soon after, the door of his lighthouse implodes with the overflow of reporters searching to capture another shot of this savage's unique behavior. The onlookers and reporters ask for only one thing.

"The whip stunt! Do the whip stunt again!"

The conditioned idiots are trained to want none other than entertainment, thus it's not in the least bit their fault. But in no way is this riot a fault of John's. And in the midst of the chaos, Lenina walks in.

Choosing to beat Lenina with the whip was possibly not the smoothest move of Johns. But everybody's happy nowadays. Whether or not he knew it, John too got a part of what he wanted.
In the excitement, a rioter calls out "orgy porgy"
And altogether in a soma daze, the crowd does just what it does best.

John awakes with total regret.
And hangs himself.

What Not To Do In the New World

Had John followed the common rules of society, and maybe stayed out of the spotlight immediately after his mother's death, the events that ensued would not happened.

Unfortunately for all involved, these events do indeed occur.

Not only does John refuse to request Linda at the hospital for the dying, but he repeatedly asks for his mother. As shocking as the word is to the young nurse, all are well aware that the enormous and wrinkly cow of a woman in comparison to all other new worlders could be none other than the... Ford forbid, mother of the Savage. What John decides to do next is even more outrageous. He decides to make a scene in this peaceful and pleasant hospital for those quite happy to be dying, and makes such a scene in front of an entire Bokanovsky group in the midst of their death conditioning. Years later, only 100 or so identical Deltas will be absolutely and inexplicably afraid of death. And as if one person mattered as much as that to the new world!

But for John, Linda means the world. So after his death, he does whatever he can to disrupt the world to which his mother meant nothing. He does his brave and stupid act by disrupting the soma distribution.

**INTERRUPTING THIS BLOG FOR MORE IMPORTANT ADVICE**

4. NEVER interrupt the distribution of soma to a group of new worlders. Terrible events/tranquiliz-ation may occur.

As any attentive reader would notice, John learns of this advice only after making a very bold move. He interrupts the soma distribution, in attempting to free the new worlders from their dependence on this addictive (yet amazing) drug of choice. He tosses each pill-box full of a working delta's soma ration out the window of the hospital for the dying.

Then comes the rioting.
The Deltas, petrified and nearly insulted by the disrespectful treatment of the drug they treasure, begin to race toward the Savage. While Bernard watches from a safe distance, does nothing except to fret. Because a crowd of soma-deprived Deltas is a dangerous thing.

Then comes the tranquilizing.
"Everybody's happy nowadays" begins to play from the synthetic music machines. Soma gas is released into the crowds. And once again, the scene disparates into a normal, happy daily schedule of a Delta.

For the instability John causes to society, it's a wonder Mustapha Mond, Fordship of the day, doesn't punish him more heartily. Instead the two spend time relating to one another. Infact, his Fordship actually understands what John knows to be poetry, love, instability, and honor. And his Fordship informs John that he has more rights in the new world than those of which he was aware. John has the right to not conform, as long as it doesn't disturb the rest of society. John decides to claim his right.

The right to be unhappy.

Common Advice for the Least Common of People

As Mr. Savage is probably left with only the option of staying in this Brave New World, I thought a set of common advice would make life at least a bit less strange. The letter goes something like what follows.

Dear John,

Here is some advice for you.

1. No using the word "mother". As difficult it may be for you to live without ties to any other human being, it's only what's expected by new worlders. "Father" also, is only slightly taboo and may be used with your shallowly-close friends, and the most frequented acquaintances. Not in front of important individuals, such as the director. Yes, John. Even if the director of the moment is your biological father. And if it's your mother dying in the hospital for... what else? The dying. Do not ask for your mother. It's shocking.

2. No poetry. It's sad. And it's illegal. After all, you're the only one on the earth still enjoying that rubbish. Quit it, and have some soma instead. Which brings us to your next very important bit of advice...

3. For god sakes, just take soma like the rest of us! It's good for you. Try adapting to some of what the luckier, who were conditioned from birth, do on a daily basis. There is no need to fret, just use a repetitive soma-encouraging motto to save the day. One like "A gramme is always better than a damn" serves to justify a dose half that of an all-out soma holiday. Of course those purely accustomed to a 24/7 holiday. But they remain gorgeous until the day it'll destroy their liver. And to some, that's perfectly okay. So try some, John. It's good for you.

So, John. I hope you do your best to follow the ways of modern society, in order to not be perceived as... Ford forbid, odd.